Sometimes, I feel like being a Reconstructionist is like being on the losing team. It is being on the team where you look around and you go "Well. . .we'll just have to fight it out"
Don't think for a second though that the Hellenic Reconstructionist movement doesn't have a struggle to win. Because let me tell you something, there *is* a great deal of struggle for many of us. From our pitifully low numbers to (from what I have seen) an astonishing rate of attrition, especially to forms of liberal Christianity, I sometimes feel like we are on a team, and we are all losing.
Let us also not forget that we mercilessly devour our own sometimes, and quite often chase well meaning and curious folks off by being aggressive assholes.
Let us also not forget that most of us are constantly bickering about who is or isn't "Reconstructionist" enough to call themselves one, and this kind of bickering leads to an odd desire to stagnant in the past and to shout "If it wasn't done in Ancient Greece, I'm not doing it!"
Let us also not forget that many, many, many of us take absolutely no initiative nor have any desire to be social and to build a community and form bonds and then wonder why we don't have any loops or connections with each other.
Let us also not forget that our presence in the Pagan community is pitifully low, and few people know of us. We do that, that is on us. We are the ones who don't organize booths at Pride Days, we are the ones who alienate ourselves from the Pagan community by scoffing at all the "newer" types. Yeah, I'm guilty of this, but I'm trying to get better about it.
Let us also not forget that the vast majority of us (because of the If it wasn't done in Ancient Greece mindset) have a refusal to organize in any meaningful way, and that the only even remotely active forum for Hellenistai is filled to the brim with homophobes, bigots, and people who in general make MANY Hellenists cringe (I'm calling you out Timothy Alexander, you self important sack of shit. I know all about your little god damn games)
I am on a losing team, and it is our own God damned fault. I have sincere doubts that the movement will have grown much in twenty years, other than by people popping out kids. It is a fucking shame.
ADDENDUM: This is in no way saying that I don't identify as a Reconstructionist any longer. This is saying that I'm extremely frustrated with the way things have gone and have been going, and where I feel things are headed. I'm going to do what I can regardless. As long as I have a shred of a glimmer of hope for us, I'm going to do what I can.