Saturday, June 29, 2013
A few changes to the program
You may have noticed that the radio program has not aired on schedule very much this month, you may be asking why. Simply put, I WAY underestimated how much time it would take to record and edit the myths for your listening pleasure. As such, I'm making another revision (for the time being) for the first few months, until I really get a handle on things, I'll be doing an interview for the first Sunday of a month, and re-telling myths for the last Sunday of a month. This new schedule will take effect next month. I do apologize if I have disappointed anyone, however sometimes you gotta fumble a bit before you catch the ball, so for July, let's get at this again, shall we?
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
DOMA is Overturned
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| Glory to Athene for granting the justices due wisdom |
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| Glory to Hermes for granting us a good case with strong arguments |
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| Glory to Zeus and Hera for bringing things to fulfillment |
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| Glory to Dike for bringing about proper justice |
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Exceeded 30K Views!
That's right, this lil' ole blog has gotten more than 30,000 views! To all my readers, thank you! As a thank you present, here is something stupid I drew.
[CD Review] Plans
Plans by Death Cab for Cutie
Overall Score: 9/10
Death Cab for Cutie's album Plans does a wonderful job of raising questions and exploring what exactly love is, it takes you on a philosophical journey regarding this powerful and sometimes destructive emotion. Something that a lot of albums can't even come close to doing.
The opening song "Marching Bands of Manhattan" touches on what it can be like to be in love with someone who is suffering from depression and who has withdrawn, and how the lover can too be consumed by the sadness that the beloved is experiencing. Next on the list comes "Soul Meets Body" a rather up-beat song invoking the imagery of music filling the air and some natural imagery to express the union of love. Then it slides into "Summer Skin" a sad down-tempo song about a summer fling running its natural course, even if one person has a lingering sensation and desire for it to last just a bit longer. 'Different Names' is a curious break from the rest of the CD, a mellow crackling song about traveling by one's self across different countries.
"I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is PROBABLY the most well known and well liked song on the album. The song is frequently played on the radio, and has had a lot of staying power for obvious reasons. The sound itself is very gentle and soft, and the lyrics poignant, discussing what love is, and the potentially eternal nature of it, with the singer promising to follow their lover into 'the dark' (death). He discusses what isn't love (fear, as he learned in 'Catholic School) and acknowledges the inevitability of death ("You and me/Have seen everything to see/From Bangkok to Calgary/And the soles of your shoes/Are all worn down/The time for sleep is now/Its nothing to cry about/Because we'll hold each other soon/in the blackest of rooms) and reassures their lover that s/he will not be alone in death (though, the singer is not implying suicide I believe)
The next song "Your Heart is an Empty Room" is about a listless and lonely man trying to find love but tied down by his obligations and responsibilities. Upon his house burning down he feels a sense of relief, as he finally is opened up to having a chance to love.
"Someday You Will Be Loved" is a rather sad song that I can (and I"m sure most can) relate to on some level. The song discusses the singer leaving behind a girl that was just a good and kind person ("Eyes all beauty and truth") but who he could not love. So, he leaves her. He leaves her a note saying that she doesn't need to feel too bad, because one day she will meet someone who makes him seem like a bad dream, and that her broken heart will someday. The affection the singer has for the jilted lover is true, though he knows it is right and for the best.
"Crooked teeth" is a slightly quirky song discussing regrets about starting a relationship that the singer knew was doomed from the start and that just doesn't quite work.
"What Sarah Said" is another one of the more touching and emotional songs on the album. The sound of the piano at the start reminds me of fingers tapping in succession on a chair (pinky, ring, middle, index) when a person is anxious about something. The song itself is actually the titular song(And it came to an end, that every plan, is a tiny prayer to Father Time), and for good reason. It discusses the truest test that any love can have is watching and waiting and knowing that your partner is dying and that all you can do is watch and by their for them, and not regretting a single second of being with them and though it pains you being there with them for the whole process of their death. It is poignant, and touching, and asks the listener "Whose going to watch you die?" or rather, who loves you so much that they could endure the experience of watching you pass. The song raises some difficult thoughts and feelings in me personally.
By contrast, "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" is a different kind of sad. It speaks of a couple whose passion has faded away due to the constant pressures of life, the monotony and the simple passing of time. How they sleep next to one another, not as lovers, but in the platonic way that two brothers might sleep in the same bed. The singers acknowledges that his age and the changes he has gone through may be the cause of the passion fading, It explores the melancholy of middle-age and struggling to realize that your youth has faded.
"Stable Song" is a slower paced song, which honestly, I had difficulty drawing meaning from.
I have to say that if you don't own this album, you should pick it up and give it a long listen. It is beautiful, touching, and makes you think about what it really means to love, to hurt, to feel, and to simply just be human.
"I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is PROBABLY the most well known and well liked song on the album. The song is frequently played on the radio, and has had a lot of staying power for obvious reasons. The sound itself is very gentle and soft, and the lyrics poignant, discussing what love is, and the potentially eternal nature of it, with the singer promising to follow their lover into 'the dark' (death). He discusses what isn't love (fear, as he learned in 'Catholic School) and acknowledges the inevitability of death ("You and me/Have seen everything to see/From Bangkok to Calgary/And the soles of your shoes/Are all worn down/The time for sleep is now/Its nothing to cry about/Because we'll hold each other soon/in the blackest of rooms) and reassures their lover that s/he will not be alone in death (though, the singer is not implying suicide I believe)
The next song "Your Heart is an Empty Room" is about a listless and lonely man trying to find love but tied down by his obligations and responsibilities. Upon his house burning down he feels a sense of relief, as he finally is opened up to having a chance to love.
"Someday You Will Be Loved" is a rather sad song that I can (and I"m sure most can) relate to on some level. The song discusses the singer leaving behind a girl that was just a good and kind person ("Eyes all beauty and truth") but who he could not love. So, he leaves her. He leaves her a note saying that she doesn't need to feel too bad, because one day she will meet someone who makes him seem like a bad dream, and that her broken heart will someday. The affection the singer has for the jilted lover is true, though he knows it is right and for the best.
"Crooked teeth" is a slightly quirky song discussing regrets about starting a relationship that the singer knew was doomed from the start and that just doesn't quite work.
"What Sarah Said" is another one of the more touching and emotional songs on the album. The sound of the piano at the start reminds me of fingers tapping in succession on a chair (pinky, ring, middle, index) when a person is anxious about something. The song itself is actually the titular song(And it came to an end, that every plan, is a tiny prayer to Father Time), and for good reason. It discusses the truest test that any love can have is watching and waiting and knowing that your partner is dying and that all you can do is watch and by their for them, and not regretting a single second of being with them and though it pains you being there with them for the whole process of their death. It is poignant, and touching, and asks the listener "Whose going to watch you die?" or rather, who loves you so much that they could endure the experience of watching you pass. The song raises some difficult thoughts and feelings in me personally.
By contrast, "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" is a different kind of sad. It speaks of a couple whose passion has faded away due to the constant pressures of life, the monotony and the simple passing of time. How they sleep next to one another, not as lovers, but in the platonic way that two brothers might sleep in the same bed. The singers acknowledges that his age and the changes he has gone through may be the cause of the passion fading, It explores the melancholy of middle-age and struggling to realize that your youth has faded.
"Stable Song" is a slower paced song, which honestly, I had difficulty drawing meaning from.
I have to say that if you don't own this album, you should pick it up and give it a long listen. It is beautiful, touching, and makes you think about what it really means to love, to hurt, to feel, and to simply just be human.
Music Video for "What Sarah Said" (some parts are 'muffled' unlike in the album)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Undoing Ties
After giving it much thought and conducting some divination I have made a few decisions.
The first one is that I will no longer be attending the Unitarian Universalist Church. This has nothing to do with the people being mean (because they aren't) everyone at my local Unitarian Universalist Church were all very nice and kind and good people. I'm electing to cease going altogehter for a few reasons, the first one being that it just isn't meeting my needs. When I first started attending I was hoping to develop my own spirituality and get some insights into the spirituality of others, I thought it would be a good place to attend to learn more about other faiths in-depth, but I ultimately realized that Unitarian Universalists do have a certain kind of faith homogenity with some garnish on top. Really though, the Church is more about Social Justice issues and Humanitarian causes than anything, which ISN'T bad, it just isn't what I'm seeking out.
I'd also like to thank everyone at the Denton Unitarian Universalist Foundation for showing me hospitality, for talking to me, and for being my friend. I will not forget the coffee we shared and I definitely won't forget the teens that I had the pleasure of watching develop and come along on their own ruminations about God and faith. Reverend Pamela Wat was wonderful and I'm sure she'll bring the Foundation to even greater successes and heights
This lead to the next thing that I had to think about. Do I continue attending CUUPS? They are the only Pagan organization around really, but really I don't have more than a sprinkling of kindred spirits in the group. They are all fine and fabulous people and they at minimum pour libations to the Gods and Goddesses (even if occasionally they just resort to the generic 'Lord, Lady, and Ancestors' ). However, I find myself cringing when I get into social situations with more than a select couple of people and there is a lot of attitudes held by many members that grate on me and that I don't feel I really have place to address or discuss heavily as it will just result in tensions, hurt feelings, and lets be honest, I am of a different faith than the majority of CUUPs goers. In fact, as far as I know I'm the only recon in the group currently. I've had a lot of fun with the group too! They have been a source of socialization, and connection and not feeling isolated among the vast wide world and the sea of Abrahamic believers. However, I also feel that it is wrong to attend events solely for socialization and entertainment purposes. So I was (and still am) conflicted between what I want for myself and what I feel is right, pious, and proper. If you know anything about me, you will know what I have elected to do.
So it is with a heavy heart that I also bid a goodbye to CUUPS
Now that brings me to the last thing that I really had to grapple with. Do I want to be involved with the Pan-Pagan community? If so, why? If not, why? The answer I have ultimately come to is a relatively dejected 'no, but I have to'. I have too many connections with the Pan-Pagan community, plus Pan-Pagan events are great places to raise awareness for Reconstructionism and Hellenion. I have decided that I'm going to limit interaction though, I'm not going to try to engage in debates and many of the gen Pagan blogs I read I'm going to stop reading. I'm also not going to attend Eclectic/Wiccan inspired rites and stick to rites, rituals and festivities performed by and for folks who employ the Reconstructionist methodology. In other words, a lot of my interaction will be on a person-person level, and I won't be participating in holidays like Beltane, Samhain, or Mabon (unless they are conducted by a Celtic Recon of course!). The internet flame wars get real ridiculous real fast and in person I find that most Pagans use terminology and have viewpoints that really are against the grain for me (again, going back to the fact that we aren't the same faith, but separate and distinct ones). So I hope to make some events and bring a Hellenic presence to these events, but I won't be attending Circles any longer.
I'm getting deeper into my own faith and realizing that I do need to discard some things and pursue others. I think that is okay, fine, and necessary. I need to get my ass in gear for Xenia and I need the feelings of loneliness to drive me to develop it further I think. I think this is for the best, and I think this is good, though it doesn't mean that I won't miss these things.
The first one is that I will no longer be attending the Unitarian Universalist Church. This has nothing to do with the people being mean (because they aren't) everyone at my local Unitarian Universalist Church were all very nice and kind and good people. I'm electing to cease going altogehter for a few reasons, the first one being that it just isn't meeting my needs. When I first started attending I was hoping to develop my own spirituality and get some insights into the spirituality of others, I thought it would be a good place to attend to learn more about other faiths in-depth, but I ultimately realized that Unitarian Universalists do have a certain kind of faith homogenity with some garnish on top. Really though, the Church is more about Social Justice issues and Humanitarian causes than anything, which ISN'T bad, it just isn't what I'm seeking out.
I'd also like to thank everyone at the Denton Unitarian Universalist Foundation for showing me hospitality, for talking to me, and for being my friend. I will not forget the coffee we shared and I definitely won't forget the teens that I had the pleasure of watching develop and come along on their own ruminations about God and faith. Reverend Pamela Wat was wonderful and I'm sure she'll bring the Foundation to even greater successes and heights
This lead to the next thing that I had to think about. Do I continue attending CUUPS? They are the only Pagan organization around really, but really I don't have more than a sprinkling of kindred spirits in the group. They are all fine and fabulous people and they at minimum pour libations to the Gods and Goddesses (even if occasionally they just resort to the generic 'Lord, Lady, and Ancestors' ). However, I find myself cringing when I get into social situations with more than a select couple of people and there is a lot of attitudes held by many members that grate on me and that I don't feel I really have place to address or discuss heavily as it will just result in tensions, hurt feelings, and lets be honest, I am of a different faith than the majority of CUUPs goers. In fact, as far as I know I'm the only recon in the group currently. I've had a lot of fun with the group too! They have been a source of socialization, and connection and not feeling isolated among the vast wide world and the sea of Abrahamic believers. However, I also feel that it is wrong to attend events solely for socialization and entertainment purposes. So I was (and still am) conflicted between what I want for myself and what I feel is right, pious, and proper. If you know anything about me, you will know what I have elected to do.
So it is with a heavy heart that I also bid a goodbye to CUUPS
Now that brings me to the last thing that I really had to grapple with. Do I want to be involved with the Pan-Pagan community? If so, why? If not, why? The answer I have ultimately come to is a relatively dejected 'no, but I have to'. I have too many connections with the Pan-Pagan community, plus Pan-Pagan events are great places to raise awareness for Reconstructionism and Hellenion. I have decided that I'm going to limit interaction though, I'm not going to try to engage in debates and many of the gen Pagan blogs I read I'm going to stop reading. I'm also not going to attend Eclectic/Wiccan inspired rites and stick to rites, rituals and festivities performed by and for folks who employ the Reconstructionist methodology. In other words, a lot of my interaction will be on a person-person level, and I won't be participating in holidays like Beltane, Samhain, or Mabon (unless they are conducted by a Celtic Recon of course!). The internet flame wars get real ridiculous real fast and in person I find that most Pagans use terminology and have viewpoints that really are against the grain for me (again, going back to the fact that we aren't the same faith, but separate and distinct ones). So I hope to make some events and bring a Hellenic presence to these events, but I won't be attending Circles any longer.
I'm getting deeper into my own faith and realizing that I do need to discard some things and pursue others. I think that is okay, fine, and necessary. I need to get my ass in gear for Xenia and I need the feelings of loneliness to drive me to develop it further I think. I think this is for the best, and I think this is good, though it doesn't mean that I won't miss these things.
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| Deer Cave by loupiote on flickr |
Monday, June 17, 2013
Why Hellenismos? Because Athena.
This past few weeks I've been going through some very personal changes which have resulted in de-realization and then an awakening of sorts. I wound up ruminating on why I am a Hellenist.
Why? That is always the question isn't it? Why?
Unlike some Hellenist, I have no love for Plato or Aristotle or Iamblichus or any of the other various philosophers. I was not drawn in and captivated by the myths more than any other mythology. Greek Theatre is amazing and fascinating, but not enough to embrace the religion. I have no Greek blood in me (at least that I can prove. A group of cousins claim we do, but I think that is a bunch of bullshit honestly) I had (at the time of becoming a Hellenist) zero interest in Greece, no like of Greek culture, and a disdain for the country even. (I'm coming to appreciate Greek culture, very slowly). Why then did I become a Hellenist?
I ask myself this frequently enough. The answer is simple
Athena.
Of course, I have grown closer to other Gods too (like Aphrodite and Hermes) but the root lies with Athena. In love of her I sought out her original faith and worship. In love of her I opened my first Burkert book and it grew and grew from there. She was the thing which caused me to open the door and step inside. From Athena all this grew.
I've always had an obsession with her, a fascination and an inclination. From the first time I read the myths (in the 6th grade) through High School and into college. I've always had this inclination towards Athena. Seeing art of her was awesome, I liked vase paintings of her, depictions, paintings it didn't matter what as long as it was of her. So, after I got out of my Wicca phase and was searching for something deeper and more grounded in history Hellenismos seemed to be the most natural choice.
Through Athena I've come to the Gods.
Through her I do not stay though. It takes more than just one God or Goddess to make one stay and dedicate the time, energy, and effort it takes to reconstruct a religious practice. In Hellenismos I've found a love for their particular festival cycle, I've found an extreme liking for the ritual structure, I've found that the other Olympians are wonderful and awe-inspiring as well. I've found a comfort in the pouring of libations and all the little particulars I have found to be wonderful (even if there are some particulars that still confuse me or that I'm uncertain about)
Through Athena I've come to the Gods, and for Athena I want to build a temple.
After all, don't I owe all the kharis in my life to the grey-eyed Goddess?
Why? That is always the question isn't it? Why?
Unlike some Hellenist, I have no love for Plato or Aristotle or Iamblichus or any of the other various philosophers. I was not drawn in and captivated by the myths more than any other mythology. Greek Theatre is amazing and fascinating, but not enough to embrace the religion. I have no Greek blood in me (at least that I can prove. A group of cousins claim we do, but I think that is a bunch of bullshit honestly) I had (at the time of becoming a Hellenist) zero interest in Greece, no like of Greek culture, and a disdain for the country even. (I'm coming to appreciate Greek culture, very slowly). Why then did I become a Hellenist?
I ask myself this frequently enough. The answer is simple
Athena.
Of course, I have grown closer to other Gods too (like Aphrodite and Hermes) but the root lies with Athena. In love of her I sought out her original faith and worship. In love of her I opened my first Burkert book and it grew and grew from there. She was the thing which caused me to open the door and step inside. From Athena all this grew.
I've always had an obsession with her, a fascination and an inclination. From the first time I read the myths (in the 6th grade) through High School and into college. I've always had this inclination towards Athena. Seeing art of her was awesome, I liked vase paintings of her, depictions, paintings it didn't matter what as long as it was of her. So, after I got out of my Wicca phase and was searching for something deeper and more grounded in history Hellenismos seemed to be the most natural choice.
Through Athena I've come to the Gods.
Through her I do not stay though. It takes more than just one God or Goddess to make one stay and dedicate the time, energy, and effort it takes to reconstruct a religious practice. In Hellenismos I've found a love for their particular festival cycle, I've found an extreme liking for the ritual structure, I've found that the other Olympians are wonderful and awe-inspiring as well. I've found a comfort in the pouring of libations and all the little particulars I have found to be wonderful (even if there are some particulars that still confuse me or that I'm uncertain about)
Through Athena I've come to the Gods, and for Athena I want to build a temple.
After all, don't I owe all the kharis in my life to the grey-eyed Goddess?
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
One Year
It has been over a year since I've moved into this house of mine.
A lot has happened in that year.
In that year, I've begun to dig into my faith deeply, formulate opinions, and come to know my Gods better. I've erected shrines, I've struggled with doubts, and I've developed a fairly consistent daily devotional practice.
In that year I've come more and more comfortable with my own sexuality. I may have come out at 15 but it takes actually being with another man to grow comfortable with it. My dad found out I was gay in this time.
In that year I've been hurt by someone, I've been lied to and felt only what could be called a sense of betrayal. In this same year I've come to date and fall in love with an amazing man who I've had the pleasure of being with for 8 months now. The first person who I'm certain that cares about me as much as I care about them. The first person that I truly and wholly see myself going places with.
In that year I have learned how to manage money a bit better, even if a bit too late. I have learned to budget and correct and to minimize frivolous purchases.
In that year I have failed. I bombed my classes, I did terrible. My GPA went from a 3.2 to a 2.078 I've errored and I've lost aid, I've suffered from true burnout and a mild depressive episode. I've learned to pull myself up by the bootstraps and repair some damage (after all, the classes I made at least a C in are the classes that I salvaged within the month).
In that year I have succeeded. I auditioned for and got cast as the lead in two shows, I got lots of good comments on the first (sadly no one reviewed it) and on the second I got a good review. I completed my Hellenion Adult RE Classes, and I have managed to consistently post on my blog.
In that year I have learned that the kindness of friends and strangers is wonderful and intense and is something unexpected. I have learned that people who you least expect to help may help.
In that year I have grown. Lets see what the next year of living here brings. I'm sure whatever it is, it will be grand.
(photos not listed chronologically)
A lot has happened in that year.
In that year, I've begun to dig into my faith deeply, formulate opinions, and come to know my Gods better. I've erected shrines, I've struggled with doubts, and I've developed a fairly consistent daily devotional practice.
In that year I've come more and more comfortable with my own sexuality. I may have come out at 15 but it takes actually being with another man to grow comfortable with it. My dad found out I was gay in this time.
In that year I've been hurt by someone, I've been lied to and felt only what could be called a sense of betrayal. In this same year I've come to date and fall in love with an amazing man who I've had the pleasure of being with for 8 months now. The first person who I'm certain that cares about me as much as I care about them. The first person that I truly and wholly see myself going places with.
In that year I have learned how to manage money a bit better, even if a bit too late. I have learned to budget and correct and to minimize frivolous purchases.
In that year I have failed. I bombed my classes, I did terrible. My GPA went from a 3.2 to a 2.078 I've errored and I've lost aid, I've suffered from true burnout and a mild depressive episode. I've learned to pull myself up by the bootstraps and repair some damage (after all, the classes I made at least a C in are the classes that I salvaged within the month).
In that year I have succeeded. I auditioned for and got cast as the lead in two shows, I got lots of good comments on the first (sadly no one reviewed it) and on the second I got a good review. I completed my Hellenion Adult RE Classes, and I have managed to consistently post on my blog.
In that year I have learned that the kindness of friends and strangers is wonderful and intense and is something unexpected. I have learned that people who you least expect to help may help.
In that year I have grown. Lets see what the next year of living here brings. I'm sure whatever it is, it will be grand.
(photos not listed chronologically)
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| My first 'altar' |
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| Libation to Hephaestus |
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| Gamelia |
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| Dionysia ta Astikia |
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| Shrine to Athena |
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| Me as Adam and JP Cano as Serpentem in 'Adam and Eve in the Garden of Delights, or Love' |
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| Me as John Merrick in 'The Elephant Man' |
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| Me as Cú Chulainn and Roq Hodges as Loch at D-CUUPS Beltane Ritual |
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| My kadeuceus |
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| My backyard |
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About Me
- Conor W.
- Texas
- A young man living in North Texas. He is an actor, a Hellenistos, and a proud member of Hellenion.