"The key isn't to not be scared, okay? You should be scared. You are in front of a million people it feels like, exposed, vulnerable, and not a single one is going to forgive you if you fuck up, ya know? You gotta get that, be scared. The key, the key here is to not show it, don't think about it. Be scared, don't shake on stage. It'll throw you off your guard. That's the deal Lloyd" the speaker took a long slow puff off his cigarette, as if collecting his thoughts. He let the smoke billow out of his mouth slowly and gazed off into the distance There was a still, gentle silence in the room for a moment, but it was not uncomfortable. The cars outside provided a gentle music, a white noise that grew in intensity depending on the time of day. "Ya know, I was young like you once" the speaker continued. "I got my breaks. I got lucky. But I know what I'm talking about. Maybe a little" he cracked a smile suddenly, and his face lit up like a child's. "Did I ever tell you the zipper story?" Lloyd shook his head and weakly mumbled no. "Ah, well it ain't much ya know? I was out on stage, we were doin' a show called Dividing the Estate. I was playing Lewis. We were over at the Sideways Players, you know where they are at? Yeah? Well, we were there. Little place you know, for a big show. Our director was fucking crazy ya know? This was a big show in a little place, too small. So, anyway, I go out, I'm on stage for a while. and suddenly the old lady playing Stella wanders over to me. I got scared, I thought she forgot her blocking or something, but no. My zipper was down, and I didn't have any drawers on. We just played it off. I dunno if anyone saw anything, but it was small, so I dunno. The theatre, mind you, not my dick. But we just played it off. It was nothing, we just worked it. That's what it is about. Being on your toes. Watching out for the other people on stage. Sometimes shit happens Lloyd. Shit happens, and you can't let it remind you, 'oh shit, I went on stage scared'. Roll with things." Lloyd nodded vigorously. The speaker reached out and patted him on the back, a smile plastered across his face, thoroughly amused. It was clear that the laugh lines on his face were from just that, laughing. "Lighten up young man! Was just supposed to be a story, not a lesson. But maybe I just made it into a lesson. I don't know." He took another slow puff of his cigarette. "Don't take things so seriously Lloyd. You gotta have your jokes when you can. Its the only thing that is going to let you put up with the egos you are gonna bump into."
Lloyd nodded and gently strummed his fingers on his knee, his anxiety seeping through the pores in his skin, manifesting itself as sweat. His friend took another light drag and smiled 'Don't you have somewhere to be?' he quipped. His voice seemed to linger like the smoke from his cigarette. Lloyd hastily nodded, shook his hand, and muttered a 'bye Neil' before dashing out the door.
Neil sat in his chair and closed his eyes, reliving his own glory days.
"Yes" he thought. "He's going to do just fine."
Outside a car beeped, and the birds chattered away.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
20K Views!
My blog has exceeded 20 thousand views! I'm elated!
A huge thanks to all my readers. You are all wonderful and awesome!
As a thanks for this, I will write a devotional for free to the first two people to e-mail me. It will be in the some format and style that I use for my own devotionals. If you are not one of the first two people I will be holding a special on writing devotionals until Friday, with the price being only 5 dollars.
If you would like a devotional, e-mail me at fathergia@yahoo.com with your name and which God or Goddess you'd like the devotional to be for.
Thanks everybody, you are all fabulous and wonderful!
A huge thanks to all my readers. You are all wonderful and awesome!
As a thanks for this, I will write a devotional for free to the first two people to e-mail me. It will be in the some format and style that I use for my own devotionals. If you are not one of the first two people I will be holding a special on writing devotionals until Friday, with the price being only 5 dollars.
If you would like a devotional, e-mail me at fathergia@yahoo.com with your name and which God or Goddess you'd like the devotional to be for.
Thanks everybody, you are all fabulous and wonderful!
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| I'm sweaty, but happy! |
A Brief Note on Sacred Animals (We aren't Hindus)
So, I have stumbled onto a couple of posts, most recently this one (to save you the pain of reading it TL;DR Deers are a symbol of Artemis. I'm not eating them.) which basically go 'Oh, an animal/animals are sacred to this or that God! I shan't eat them any longer!'
Not exactly the best conclusion.
Just because an animal is 'sacred' does not mean that we cannot consume it or that we shouldn't consume it. Bulls were sacred to Zeus, and they were sacrificed to him, goats to Pan, rams to Hermes, it goes on. As with most Greek sacrifices, these animals were not (usually, the exception being holocaust offerings) just killed and left to rot or just utterly destroyed. No, they were consumed. Likewise, a hunter might pray or make offerings to Artemis to help him find, kill, and eat a stag. 'Sacred' has a lot of loaded connotations that we may unnecessarily carry over into our conclusions of things. So, if sacred animals aren't necessarily to be treated with extra reverence in the form of not eating them, what makes them sacred?
They act as symbols or representations of a God or Goddess and their power or aspects. Owls held a wisdom connotation, and so they were associated with Athena, sparrows were lascivious little birds so an Aphrodite association developed. Bulls are virile, strong, fertile, so they represent Zeus. It goes on and on, the 'sacredness' of an animal is not an order (usually) not to kill or eat it, rather it is a way for us to look at an animal and be reminded of the strength, beauty, majesty, and power of our Gods.
Of course, Aldridge and whoever else are allowed to draw whatever conclusions they want. I just think it might be beneficial to remember that we aren't Hindus. Sacred does not equal do not eat.
(Of course. . .this isn't going into the Mystery traditions or the various schools like Pythagorianism and Orphisim. Take this post for what it is worth, brief and general!)
Not exactly the best conclusion.
Just because an animal is 'sacred' does not mean that we cannot consume it or that we shouldn't consume it. Bulls were sacred to Zeus, and they were sacrificed to him, goats to Pan, rams to Hermes, it goes on. As with most Greek sacrifices, these animals were not (usually, the exception being holocaust offerings) just killed and left to rot or just utterly destroyed. No, they were consumed. Likewise, a hunter might pray or make offerings to Artemis to help him find, kill, and eat a stag. 'Sacred' has a lot of loaded connotations that we may unnecessarily carry over into our conclusions of things. So, if sacred animals aren't necessarily to be treated with extra reverence in the form of not eating them, what makes them sacred?
They act as symbols or representations of a God or Goddess and their power or aspects. Owls held a wisdom connotation, and so they were associated with Athena, sparrows were lascivious little birds so an Aphrodite association developed. Bulls are virile, strong, fertile, so they represent Zeus. It goes on and on, the 'sacredness' of an animal is not an order (usually) not to kill or eat it, rather it is a way for us to look at an animal and be reminded of the strength, beauty, majesty, and power of our Gods.
Of course, Aldridge and whoever else are allowed to draw whatever conclusions they want. I just think it might be beneficial to remember that we aren't Hindus. Sacred does not equal do not eat.
(Of course. . .this isn't going into the Mystery traditions or the various schools like Pythagorianism and Orphisim. Take this post for what it is worth, brief and general!)
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| Flight of Europa taken by cliff1066 on Flickr |
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
What Got Me Here
I've been thinking long and hard about what got me into the situation I got into. What got me to this point, how I got to this point, and quite honestly the answer is simple.
Hubris, that's what got me here.
See, throughout high school I never had to try to get good grades. I was in all AP and Honors classes, I never studied, I sometimes paid attention, and I did my homework and projects at the last minute, and yet I made good grades. Not only did I pass, I wound up in the top quarter of my class, it wasn't a challenge for me. Off I go to college, and my Freshman year was a breeze. I just repeated what I did in High School and I made decent grades, I ended it with a 3.2. Then, my Sophomore year started.
The first semester of this year was really tough for me. I took heavy load classes, got involved in a show, and got dumped hard, I kind of just snapped and shut down, which heavily affected my grades and thus my GPA. This semester though, it wasn't like that. I got prideful, and lazy, and went 'Oh, I'll just read the chapter and be done with it'.
Nope.
I didn't study, I went to class at about a 50 percent rate, I half-assed my homework and basically just assumed that because I'm smart, I could be lazy. That bit me in the ass. By the time I realized that I had fucked up, I was done for. It was too late. My academic arrogance bit me in the ass, and my lack of self-discipline really killed me. This whole experience has been a wake-up call, it has given my whole academic career a new sense of gravitas, because honestly I haven't been taking school as seriously as I should.
It has hit me that I MUST cultivate self-discipline, initiative and to not assume that I don't need to study. To be humble when it comes to school and assume that I will fail any test I take, therefore making studying an imperative. I have a game plan now, I know what I MUST do. This isn't a game, it ain't a joke.
I've got it sorted out, and I've got a plan of action for the Fall semester (assuming my dad qualifies for co-signing by then.) This won't happen again.
I'm done fucking up, time to get serious and bite the bullet.
Hubris, that's what got me here.
See, throughout high school I never had to try to get good grades. I was in all AP and Honors classes, I never studied, I sometimes paid attention, and I did my homework and projects at the last minute, and yet I made good grades. Not only did I pass, I wound up in the top quarter of my class, it wasn't a challenge for me. Off I go to college, and my Freshman year was a breeze. I just repeated what I did in High School and I made decent grades, I ended it with a 3.2. Then, my Sophomore year started.
The first semester of this year was really tough for me. I took heavy load classes, got involved in a show, and got dumped hard, I kind of just snapped and shut down, which heavily affected my grades and thus my GPA. This semester though, it wasn't like that. I got prideful, and lazy, and went 'Oh, I'll just read the chapter and be done with it'.
Nope.
I didn't study, I went to class at about a 50 percent rate, I half-assed my homework and basically just assumed that because I'm smart, I could be lazy. That bit me in the ass. By the time I realized that I had fucked up, I was done for. It was too late. My academic arrogance bit me in the ass, and my lack of self-discipline really killed me. This whole experience has been a wake-up call, it has given my whole academic career a new sense of gravitas, because honestly I haven't been taking school as seriously as I should.
It has hit me that I MUST cultivate self-discipline, initiative and to not assume that I don't need to study. To be humble when it comes to school and assume that I will fail any test I take, therefore making studying an imperative. I have a game plan now, I know what I MUST do. This isn't a game, it ain't a joke.
I've got it sorted out, and I've got a plan of action for the Fall semester (assuming my dad qualifies for co-signing by then.) This won't happen again.
I'm done fucking up, time to get serious and bite the bullet.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Thank You All
Two days ago I made a plea for help.
Two days ago, I was terrified of what the future held, uncertain, afraid.
Two days ago, I thought I was going to lose everything.
Two days ago, I was uncertain of whether I'd be in my house in May.
I still will be
People came through. My friends showed me generosity and kindness that I thought folks only gave their family members.
I've had people donate money, and I have had someone send me food. I'm absolutely overwhelmed.
I will make it through May for sure, now I am still working on being able to get through June. The weather is warming up though, so I'm sure I can get some lawn work.
I just want to say, a thousand times to all who have helped THANK YOU.
From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you. You all have shown me kindness that I would never have anticipated or expected.
Again, thank you.
Two days ago, I was terrified of what the future held, uncertain, afraid.
Two days ago, I thought I was going to lose everything.
Two days ago, I was uncertain of whether I'd be in my house in May.
I still will be
People came through. My friends showed me generosity and kindness that I thought folks only gave their family members.
I've had people donate money, and I have had someone send me food. I'm absolutely overwhelmed.
I will make it through May for sure, now I am still working on being able to get through June. The weather is warming up though, so I'm sure I can get some lawn work.
I just want to say, a thousand times to all who have helped THANK YOU.
From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you. You all have shown me kindness that I would never have anticipated or expected.
Again, thank you.
Monday, April 22, 2013
I Need Help
Long-story short, I need help
I messed up, got myself into a bad situation, and now I'm basically on the verge of losing my house, my dog, and all my things. I can't go live with my dad, and I mean that literally. He doesn't have a place of his own, nor does he have the finances to support me even temporarily. I'm at threat of losing my house and everything I have, with nowhere else to go.
So I'm asking for some help.
There are a few ways you can help me if you are so willing.
1) If you are in my area and know someone who is hiring *please* direct me towards them. I've done the math, and if I can get 20 hours a week at 7.50 an hour I can survive (albeit, my diet won't be very good) I want to be able to work 40 hours a week, but I don't know how feasible that is with the way the jobs are around here, but it is what I'm aiming for
2) If you are in my area and you have some odd jobs you need done, I am ready and willing to do them. Any bit of way I can make cash helps. My minimum expenses come out to 425ish a month, but that is an all-ramen diet, no vitamins, and neglecting some bills. I can survive on this, just not very well. If you have some odd jobs, please let me know by sending an e-mail to fathergia@yahoo.com
3) If you would be willing to 'donate' some money to me, that is one way to help. I put donate in quotation marks, because any money that is sent to me I will pay back, and in addition anyone who donates some amount I will write or proof-read or something for them. We will discuss what I can do for you in thanks for this micro-loan. It is the best I can offer in terms of paying interest.
My paypal is on another tab on this blog, but here it is again: fathergia@yahoo.com
So far, I have raised 23 dollars for May's minimum expenditures. I think if I can get through May and June, I'll be able to find a job.
I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what else to do, so anything and everything will be helpful, it will be appreciated.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this
I messed up, got myself into a bad situation, and now I'm basically on the verge of losing my house, my dog, and all my things. I can't go live with my dad, and I mean that literally. He doesn't have a place of his own, nor does he have the finances to support me even temporarily. I'm at threat of losing my house and everything I have, with nowhere else to go.
So I'm asking for some help.
There are a few ways you can help me if you are so willing.
1) If you are in my area and know someone who is hiring *please* direct me towards them. I've done the math, and if I can get 20 hours a week at 7.50 an hour I can survive (albeit, my diet won't be very good) I want to be able to work 40 hours a week, but I don't know how feasible that is with the way the jobs are around here, but it is what I'm aiming for
2) If you are in my area and you have some odd jobs you need done, I am ready and willing to do them. Any bit of way I can make cash helps. My minimum expenses come out to 425ish a month, but that is an all-ramen diet, no vitamins, and neglecting some bills. I can survive on this, just not very well. If you have some odd jobs, please let me know by sending an e-mail to fathergia@yahoo.com
3) If you would be willing to 'donate' some money to me, that is one way to help. I put donate in quotation marks, because any money that is sent to me I will pay back, and in addition anyone who donates some amount I will write or proof-read or something for them. We will discuss what I can do for you in thanks for this micro-loan. It is the best I can offer in terms of paying interest.
My paypal is on another tab on this blog, but here it is again: fathergia@yahoo.com
So far, I have raised 23 dollars for May's minimum expenditures. I think if I can get through May and June, I'll be able to find a job.
I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what else to do, so anything and everything will be helpful, it will be appreciated.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this
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About Me
- Conor W.
- Texas
- A young man living in North Texas. He is an actor, a Hellenistos, and a proud member of Hellenion.