I PROMISED A SONG. Here it is, slightly older.
If I said that I want your love
Would you believe me?
If I said I've changed dear friend
I want to hold your hand
If I said that I want your love
Could you, would you, trust me?
Well dear friend, it's all just lies
And that, you can believe
I'm not scared to love at all
It's just that love
Is scared of me
I really want to and I want to try
But really I'd rather be lonely
Than feel like dying
It's not heartache I'm afraid of
It's just tearing up
Because crying is like showing weakness
Another way of
Messing up
I'm not scared to love
It's just that
Love is scared of me
I'm not scared to love
It's just that
Love is scared of me
If I said that I want your love
Would you believe me?
If I said I've changed dear friend
I want to hold your hand
If I said that I want your love
Could you, would you, trust me?
Well dear friend, it's all just lies
And that, you can believe
I'm not scared to love at all
It's just that love
Is scared of me
I really want to and I want to try
But really I'd rather be lonely
Than feel like dying
It's not heartache I'm afraid of
It's just tearing up
Because crying is like showing weakness
Another way of
Messing up
I'm not scared to love
It's just that
Love is scared of me
I'm not scared to love
It's just that
Love is scared of me
Love is scared of me
Love is scared of me
Love is scared of me
Love is scared of me
(vocals only)
It's not that I'm scared of love
It's just that I'm tired of trying
Everytime I get so caught up
In not getting hurt
I forget to open my heart
So yeah, I'm not scared of love
It's love that's scared of me
The door is closed
Because I like that room empty
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday Lyrics: The Girl and The Bird
I decided that every Sunday I am going to post some lyrics written by me. It may have been written a time ago, or may have been written moments prior, either way, every Sunday this is the goal. If you would like to use the lyrics, message me and we will arrange something.
She saw a pretty bird
Trying to cross the street
Its feathers like emeralds
The finest blackest beak
The pretty little bird
Trying to fly away
Until a savage brute
Got into its little way
She found the pretty bird
With its broken black beak
It still had its beauty
In its own special way
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to sleep
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to peace
She kept the little bird
Inside a little box
She cared for the sad bird
The pretty bird was weak
She loved the little bird
It grew stronger each day
But with its broken wings
It couldn't fly away
The girl knew the bird
Was strong enough to leave
Happy to set it free
Sad to see it away
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird a song
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to peace
The caring pretty girl
Her days approached an end
Living each little day
Like everything's the same
The sickly pretty girl
Living her final day
Abandoned by everyone
But she liked it that way
The sweet, kind, pretty girl
Saw the pretty little bird
Perched outside her window sill
It flew to her and sang
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl to sleep
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl to peace
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl a song
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl away
She saw a pretty bird
Trying to cross the street
Its feathers like emeralds
The finest blackest beak
The pretty little bird
Trying to fly away
Until a savage brute
Got into its little way
She found the pretty bird
With its broken black beak
It still had its beauty
In its own special way
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to sleep
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to peace
She kept the little bird
Inside a little box
She cared for the sad bird
The pretty bird was weak
She loved the little bird
It grew stronger each day
But with its broken wings
It couldn't fly away
The girl knew the bird
Was strong enough to leave
Happy to set it free
Sad to see it away
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird a song
Coo coo coo
She sang the bird to peace
The caring pretty girl
Her days approached an end
Living each little day
Like everything's the same
The sickly pretty girl
Living her final day
Abandoned by everyone
But she liked it that way
The sweet, kind, pretty girl
Saw the pretty little bird
Perched outside her window sill
It flew to her and sang
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl to sleep
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl to peace
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl a song
Coo coo coo
She sang the girl away
Friday, November 16, 2012
Book Review: The Myth of Matriarchial Prehistory
BOOK REVIEW: THE MYTH
OF MATRIARCHIAL PREHISTORY
Before
I begin singing the praises of this book, I would like to give a brief overview
of its content. The book was written by Cynthia Eller in an attempt to show
that a universal matriarchal pre-historic society that worshipped an ubiquitous
Goddess is almost certainly a myth, and that the myth is very likely more
harmful than it is helpful. She begins by giving a general over-view and
run-down of the situation at hand, then she proceeds to discuss the
archaeological evidence and why it isn’t even close to being conclusive, and
then she proceeds to talk about why the artistic evidence is nowhere close to
even helping anyone ascertain as to whether ancient societies were Goddess
worshipping and matriarchal.
Now,
let me start out by pointing out the biggest flaw in the work as a whole. Eller
makes no secret that she disdains and abhors the matriarchal myth and finds it
more than a tad silly. While this does not necessarily color her interpretation
or presentation to a large degree, it does come across as hostile in the tone,
this aside, the information and assertions are quite solid.
One of
the stronger moments in the book where when she pointed out the fact that even
if the societies were Monotheistic-Goddess societies, that doesn’t mean that
they would have demonstrated gender egalitarianism. Eller’s examples included some Hindu sects who
highly revered Goddesses yet said that the difference between Goddesses and
women are similar to the differences
between the stone you worship and the stone you defecate on. Another
example that she provides is that of the plight of women in Ancient Greece,
specifically Athens where Athena was venerated very widely yet women were
treated harshly, deprived of the right to vote, and were essentially “legal
minors” even after marriage.
The
argument as a whole is wonderfully constructed. Eller carefully burns the
tethers which would suggest the myth as having any sort of truth, and
demonstrates why it is useless as a myth (mainly, because it relies on gender
stereotypes, sexism, assumptions about gender, and has more than its share of
generating misandry among its adherents.) She also obviously thoroughly
researched the subject and is a great example of scholarly work if one would
only thumb through her references and her discussing the references and how she
reached her conclusion.
Overall,
if you can get past the, at times, caustic tone of the author, you will find a
wealth of information which will most certainly enhance one’s understanding of
Indo-European cultures, and of how to sort the chaff from the grain when it
comes to interpreting archaeological finds and when peering into pre-history
(spoiler alert: Almost everything is chaff)
Monday, November 12, 2012
Beware of Myth
Some of you may recall my post on the dangers of taking myth literally. I have also noticed a less subtle, more accidental form of literalism in which the person judges a deity based solely on the myth surrounding them. Let's be honest here, most of us have likely done this to some degree. Whether it is liking the tenacity and dominance of Morrighan's portrayal or hating how promiscuous Zeus is, we've all likely let these character portrayals affect how we view the deities themselves. Case in point is the Medusa myth surrounding Athena. As many of you know, I have a great affection for Athena and on a forum some time ago, we were discussing which Gods and Goddesses we have special affinities for and why. Well, I (of course) mentioned the fact that I have a rather strong liking for Athena, in which I (in quite a short time) had several people go "I hate Athena." I was shocked first, and a bit hurt second (in the same way that when you think a person is very attractive and a friend remarks on their lack of beauty.). I, of course, asked why. All the people in question cited the Medusa myth as their reason.
Let us look at the Medusa myth for a moment. In the most common(or perhaps popular?) telling of the myth, Medusa is an absolutely beautiful priestess of Athena. While tending the temple of Athena, Poseidon appears and then forces himself upon Medusa, there-by taking her virginity and disrespecting the temple of the "Virgin Goddess" (Athena's status as a virgin Goddess is *highly* debatable, but that is a story for another time). Athena, in retaliation, does not punish Poseidon, but rather punishes Medusa by turning her into a hideous beast which no one could look at, and if they did they would transform into stone.
The people who took issue with this myth were appalled by the fact that Medusa was raped and was punished and Poseidon got away scott-free. They said for that reason, they hated/disliked/abhorred Athena. This, however, is quite the silly reason. It is like hating George Washington because you read a "Historical Fiction" book in which he was portrayed as a serial rapist. People would tell you, "Well, that was a fictitious story, you shouldn't hate him because of that!" so the same it should be with myth. Myths can tell us perhaps about certain aspects of a deity, such as their domains and rituals, but they cannot tell us exactly how a deity is. The myths were created by story-tellers as a way of explaining certain truths about deity. Athena did not punish a woman for getting raped and Poseidon did not rape anyone, and to abhor either for simply being present in a story created by the culture isn't fair to the deities. Take myths for what they are, myths. Reflections of the thought and culture of the time, as well as containing certain ritualistic elements and small truths about the Gods.
The reason why we have this tendency to give myths an abnormally high truth-value is because we like to know and have reasons. Knowing this, how do we therefore get to know deities, how they operate, how they function, and how they feel about us? The answer isn't easy, fast, or quick. We must pray, meditate on, and commune with the Gods in order to get to know them more fully. Pay attention to which Gods and Goddesses call out to you, and (this is oft neglected) pay attention to the ones which your heart calls out to. Other good starting points are to focus on the Gods which rule your work, crafts, hobbies, or passions. Get to know a deity before you pass judgement on them, you wouldn't tell a random stranger on the street that you hate them, why would you do it to the Gods?
Let us look at the Medusa myth for a moment. In the most common(or perhaps popular?) telling of the myth, Medusa is an absolutely beautiful priestess of Athena. While tending the temple of Athena, Poseidon appears and then forces himself upon Medusa, there-by taking her virginity and disrespecting the temple of the "Virgin Goddess" (Athena's status as a virgin Goddess is *highly* debatable, but that is a story for another time). Athena, in retaliation, does not punish Poseidon, but rather punishes Medusa by turning her into a hideous beast which no one could look at, and if they did they would transform into stone.
The people who took issue with this myth were appalled by the fact that Medusa was raped and was punished and Poseidon got away scott-free. They said for that reason, they hated/disliked/abhorred Athena. This, however, is quite the silly reason. It is like hating George Washington because you read a "Historical Fiction" book in which he was portrayed as a serial rapist. People would tell you, "Well, that was a fictitious story, you shouldn't hate him because of that!" so the same it should be with myth. Myths can tell us perhaps about certain aspects of a deity, such as their domains and rituals, but they cannot tell us exactly how a deity is. The myths were created by story-tellers as a way of explaining certain truths about deity. Athena did not punish a woman for getting raped and Poseidon did not rape anyone, and to abhor either for simply being present in a story created by the culture isn't fair to the deities. Take myths for what they are, myths. Reflections of the thought and culture of the time, as well as containing certain ritualistic elements and small truths about the Gods.
The reason why we have this tendency to give myths an abnormally high truth-value is because we like to know and have reasons. Knowing this, how do we therefore get to know deities, how they operate, how they function, and how they feel about us? The answer isn't easy, fast, or quick. We must pray, meditate on, and commune with the Gods in order to get to know them more fully. Pay attention to which Gods and Goddesses call out to you, and (this is oft neglected) pay attention to the ones which your heart calls out to. Other good starting points are to focus on the Gods which rule your work, crafts, hobbies, or passions. Get to know a deity before you pass judgement on them, you wouldn't tell a random stranger on the street that you hate them, why would you do it to the Gods?
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Save the Recons!
Reconstructionism is hard, and it isn't nearly as attractive as some other options within the Pagan movement. While Paganism in general requires a great deal of reading and study, Reconstructionism requires even more, and the texts that a recon has to read and access to become acquainted with the practice are often a fair deal more dry and cerebral than those of other Pagans. Reconstructionism isn't for everyone, and the numbers tend to be small, but it can be very fulfilling. The question is, how do we cope with the isolation? Why do we have difficulty maintaining people? How do we reach out to people? Well, lucky for you imaginary person, I've got some ideas.
Reconstructionism is tied to a specific culture or cultural grouping. You, of course, have various sub-varieties, but ultimately each is an expression of the whole. In Hellenism we have Attic practices, Spartan practices, and Athenian practices. Heathen groups have their plethora of expressions (from Old England Heathenry up to the stereotpyical Nordic and German varieties) Celtic Reconstructionism varies greatly depending on the region involved, point is this, each one is tied to a very specific culture.
Very simply put (from all that I've scratched into) Pantheon preference comes in cycles. The "standard" as I like to call it, has been and will probably always be, the various Celtic pantheons. The other Pantheons (aside from "mainstays" like Hecate, Isis, Diana, and Artemis) come and go in cycles. You will have years where the Egyptian/Kemetic pantheon be popular for a stretch of years, then here comes the Nordic, then here comes the Greek/Hellenic. Now, this isn't to say that the pantheons get abandoned, but rather they decrease in popularity. If someone has a patron God or Goddess from that Pantheon, I've noticed they tend to bring them along to their new practice, but this isn't always the case. The reason why this does not bode well for Reconstructionist is because first and foremost, Reconstructionism is bound to a specific Pantheon and thus they will see an increase and decrease in their number in accordance with these rhythms. Secondly, to be a Reconstructionist you must have a love of the land and of the culture to some degree, and many Neo-Pagans, while drawn to certain aspects of the culture, don't really have the drive or time to dig into the ancient culture and really "get" them, as this takes quite a good deal of time. In addition, these people when they "convert" from one Pantheon to the other often do not change up their whole practice when they do so. They may alter superficial elements, but the core practice stays precisely the same, between Recon groups this is not so, and as such becoming a Reconstructionist may ultimately result in "wasted time" or feeling that time was wasted, since the person has a tendency towards switching every so many years. In addition, recon groups are not accommodating. They have a specific view of deity (polytheistic etc) and that is that. Perhaps they will allow for various varieties of that particular theism, but an Atheist or a Duotheist may be tolerated in a recon group, but will likely never be fully accepted as "part of the group".
Recons also have very loose national associations but very tight-knit tribal/blot/demos groups. This is very good locally because it gives the recon group strength and consistency, however it makes it very tough for those individuals who do not live close to other recons. While online interaction is enough for some, nothing can replace human warmth or community, especially when the tradition is so focused on the group rather than the self. Thus, Recons often lose people due to attrition because people cannot find a group to practice and discuss things with. This often leads to stagnant numbers or even negative growth of the tradition, I think there is a way around it though, if the recons ever have any hope of having more than a handful of people scattered across the broad USA.
1) Solitary Recons, join a Neo-Pagan group while you also practice home/hearth based reconstructionism. Many of these groups have no individual proscriptions for belief or practice, and thus are ideal for solitary recons getting a satisfying communal experience. The key is that you find something that resonates with you, and to keep in mind that you can in fact have two practices. I find that the easiest way to solve this dissonance is by incorporating another Pantheon that you may have been interested in, which allows you to perform your reconstructionist practice with one pantheon and your Neo-Pagan group experience with another. This will help you keep a consistent practice and will help to solve any dissonance you may have had or have. This is of course only directed at those who long for that community That is not to say that you should abandon the group if your flavor of Reconstructionism picks up though, you should only join the group if you find it satisfying , and you should only leave it if it becomes dissatisfying I would recommend a neo-Druidic order/group such as OBOD (http://druidry.org) ADF (http://adf.org) AODA (http://aoda.org) If that isn't quite your thing there are often CUUPS groups in a Unitarian Universalist Church. They tend to be very generic in their practice, but the community tends to be quite good. CUUPS: http://cuups.org/ Unitarian Universalist Association: http://uua.org/ . Really, I recommend getting involved with a non-recon Neo-Pagan organization even if you aren't solitary. They (generally speaking) have quite a lot to offer just about anyone in terms of learning.
2)All Recons, work on increasing "visibility". The reason why some people are not reconstructionist is because they don't know it exists! I have heard of more than a few stories of Wiccans and Eclectics doing their thing with a particular pantheon, but not being fully satisfied. They don't look into reconstructionism simply because they don't know it *exist*. Also, just because they know one sort exists, it does not mean they know it exists for all sorts. Attending things like Pagan Pride Days and performing rituals or setting up a booth for your group or something of that nature is rather important. Even if it is merely getting the word out on the internet, every little bit helps!
3) If you have the time or the means consider starting a National group if one doesn't exist, if one does exist, try to learn how you can help strengthen the group. National groups are a blessing ultimately, even if they do have their faults. They allow for members all over the Nation (and World!) to communicate and co-ordinate nationwide conventions, meet-ups, or otherwise assist in equipping members with the proper knowledge and resources so that they are not merely stumbling in the dark with their practice. I cannot begin to express how much help it was to get in touch with and discover http://hellenion.org/ From suggested reading to the bare basics, they helped immensely in leading me down what I have found to be immensely spiritually satisfying.
4) Play nice with others. Reconstructionism isn't superior because it is older, nor is it any more "true" than any other Neo-Pagan groupings. The fastest way to be absolutely miserable is to alienate yourself from local Neo-Pagan groups by being a brazen ass, and then realizing that being a solitary recon is really hard. Don't get mad because they mix pantheons at the altar, don't get mad if their rituals center around a Horned God and a Mother Goddess, and don't stare if a man shows up wearing a dress. These things are to be expected.
All of these things are, of course, not just my experience. A lot of this is observation and talking to people, but I think doing at least *some* of these things will help recons to survive, endure, and grow. Ultimately, if you take just one thing away from this, I hope it is this. The Dualism of belonging to a Recon group and non-recon Neo-Pagan group can be immensely satisfying, and even complimentary to one another.
Reconstructionism is tied to a specific culture or cultural grouping. You, of course, have various sub-varieties, but ultimately each is an expression of the whole. In Hellenism we have Attic practices, Spartan practices, and Athenian practices. Heathen groups have their plethora of expressions (from Old England Heathenry up to the stereotpyical Nordic and German varieties) Celtic Reconstructionism varies greatly depending on the region involved, point is this, each one is tied to a very specific culture.
Very simply put (from all that I've scratched into) Pantheon preference comes in cycles. The "standard" as I like to call it, has been and will probably always be, the various Celtic pantheons. The other Pantheons (aside from "mainstays" like Hecate, Isis, Diana, and Artemis) come and go in cycles. You will have years where the Egyptian/Kemetic pantheon be popular for a stretch of years, then here comes the Nordic, then here comes the Greek/Hellenic. Now, this isn't to say that the pantheons get abandoned, but rather they decrease in popularity. If someone has a patron God or Goddess from that Pantheon, I've noticed they tend to bring them along to their new practice, but this isn't always the case. The reason why this does not bode well for Reconstructionist is because first and foremost, Reconstructionism is bound to a specific Pantheon and thus they will see an increase and decrease in their number in accordance with these rhythms. Secondly, to be a Reconstructionist you must have a love of the land and of the culture to some degree, and many Neo-Pagans, while drawn to certain aspects of the culture, don't really have the drive or time to dig into the ancient culture and really "get" them, as this takes quite a good deal of time. In addition, these people when they "convert" from one Pantheon to the other often do not change up their whole practice when they do so. They may alter superficial elements, but the core practice stays precisely the same, between Recon groups this is not so, and as such becoming a Reconstructionist may ultimately result in "wasted time" or feeling that time was wasted, since the person has a tendency towards switching every so many years. In addition, recon groups are not accommodating. They have a specific view of deity (polytheistic etc) and that is that. Perhaps they will allow for various varieties of that particular theism, but an Atheist or a Duotheist may be tolerated in a recon group, but will likely never be fully accepted as "part of the group".
Recons also have very loose national associations but very tight-knit tribal/blot/demos groups. This is very good locally because it gives the recon group strength and consistency, however it makes it very tough for those individuals who do not live close to other recons. While online interaction is enough for some, nothing can replace human warmth or community, especially when the tradition is so focused on the group rather than the self. Thus, Recons often lose people due to attrition because people cannot find a group to practice and discuss things with. This often leads to stagnant numbers or even negative growth of the tradition, I think there is a way around it though, if the recons ever have any hope of having more than a handful of people scattered across the broad USA.
1) Solitary Recons, join a Neo-Pagan group while you also practice home/hearth based reconstructionism. Many of these groups have no individual proscriptions for belief or practice, and thus are ideal for solitary recons getting a satisfying communal experience. The key is that you find something that resonates with you, and to keep in mind that you can in fact have two practices. I find that the easiest way to solve this dissonance is by incorporating another Pantheon that you may have been interested in, which allows you to perform your reconstructionist practice with one pantheon and your Neo-Pagan group experience with another. This will help you keep a consistent practice and will help to solve any dissonance you may have had or have. This is of course only directed at those who long for that community That is not to say that you should abandon the group if your flavor of Reconstructionism picks up though, you should only join the group if you find it satisfying , and you should only leave it if it becomes dissatisfying I would recommend a neo-Druidic order/group such as OBOD (http://druidry.org) ADF (http://adf.org) AODA (http://aoda.org) If that isn't quite your thing there are often CUUPS groups in a Unitarian Universalist Church. They tend to be very generic in their practice, but the community tends to be quite good. CUUPS: http://cuups.org/ Unitarian Universalist Association: http://uua.org/ . Really, I recommend getting involved with a non-recon Neo-Pagan organization even if you aren't solitary. They (generally speaking) have quite a lot to offer just about anyone in terms of learning.
2)All Recons, work on increasing "visibility". The reason why some people are not reconstructionist is because they don't know it exists! I have heard of more than a few stories of Wiccans and Eclectics doing their thing with a particular pantheon, but not being fully satisfied. They don't look into reconstructionism simply because they don't know it *exist*. Also, just because they know one sort exists, it does not mean they know it exists for all sorts. Attending things like Pagan Pride Days and performing rituals or setting up a booth for your group or something of that nature is rather important. Even if it is merely getting the word out on the internet, every little bit helps!
3) If you have the time or the means consider starting a National group if one doesn't exist, if one does exist, try to learn how you can help strengthen the group. National groups are a blessing ultimately, even if they do have their faults. They allow for members all over the Nation (and World!) to communicate and co-ordinate nationwide conventions, meet-ups, or otherwise assist in equipping members with the proper knowledge and resources so that they are not merely stumbling in the dark with their practice. I cannot begin to express how much help it was to get in touch with and discover http://hellenion.org/ From suggested reading to the bare basics, they helped immensely in leading me down what I have found to be immensely spiritually satisfying.
4) Play nice with others. Reconstructionism isn't superior because it is older, nor is it any more "true" than any other Neo-Pagan groupings. The fastest way to be absolutely miserable is to alienate yourself from local Neo-Pagan groups by being a brazen ass, and then realizing that being a solitary recon is really hard. Don't get mad because they mix pantheons at the altar, don't get mad if their rituals center around a Horned God and a Mother Goddess, and don't stare if a man shows up wearing a dress. These things are to be expected.
All of these things are, of course, not just my experience. A lot of this is observation and talking to people, but I think doing at least *some* of these things will help recons to survive, endure, and grow. Ultimately, if you take just one thing away from this, I hope it is this. The Dualism of belonging to a Recon group and non-recon Neo-Pagan group can be immensely satisfying, and even complimentary to one another.
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About Me
- Conor W.
- Texas
- A young man living in North Texas. He is an actor, a Hellenistos, and a proud member of Hellenion.